Javaone – A few complaints


Don’t get me wrong, friends.   This RAJP is having fun, but I have 4 other Javaones with which to prepare.  [a hint of smugness crosses his face for having not ending his sentence with a preposition…oh so smug]. 

  1. Where’s the steady stream of junk food between sessions?  I couldn’t even find coffee most of the day.  NO COFFEE?  Really guys?  You couldn’t use just a little more of my tuition for coffee?  Even the place that rotates my tires has free coffee!
  2. Keynotes.  First off, as a Javaone attendee, I was not permitted to attend the Sunday night opening keynote.  Just not enough space?  Second, when I finally did get a keynote, it was suits talking business alignments and strategy.  Where are the t-shirt launchers?  Where are the weird little side shows and goofy scripted demos?  Where’s the innovation?  WHERE’S THE GEEK POWER THAT USED TO RUN THIS SHOW?  Why do these Oracle guys think we’d be interested in a bunch of boardroom buzzwords.  They can kiss my “Elastic Cloud”!!
  3. Facility.  Loudest dang meeting room doors in a conference EVER.  
    [he catches a whiff of something…something right….something he needs….it’s coffee…not just tables full of emtpy mugs…but actual coffee.]
  4. MMMMMMMm…..coffee and banana nut bread!  So yummy….now, what was I saying?  This is some good stuff.  Moist.  Not too many nuts.    Woot.
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